In Step Eight, I look at the different types of harm I cause.
Level one: point of impact
Physical injury
Damage to or theft of property
Monetary loss
Deprivation of time
Interference, intrusion, and nuisance
Unnecessary emotional suffering
Harm to relationships with third parties
Reputational harm
Level two: relationship level
Damage to the relationship: sometimes the incident is minor, but it causes a rupture in the relationship, and it is the rupture that is the harm. That rupture also deepens the sense of separation and perception of others’ hostility, coldness, or distance.
Level three: spiritual harm
Standing in the way of someone’s development: if I remain enmeshed in an enabling situation that prevents someone from hitting a rock bottom or learning to develop their own resources, I am blocking their development.
I am also doing the same if I fail to offer help that is genuinely needed to develop.
Misdirection: especially in recovery, I can either misdirect when I am disturbed or mistaken or, maybe worse, when I set a bad example through my conduct.
Increasing separation: any action which divides rather than joins, including by encouraging separation, hostility, and ill-natured opposition in discussions.