If you have more than 20 names, isolate the top twenty. That means the people who bother you the most. We do this because, after we have carefully reviewed our relationships with about twenty people, we tend to discover that the underlying causes of the difficulties repeat.
Choose the ones which:
- Represent the most important relationships
- Reflect the most deep-seated problems
- In aggregate cover all major areas of your life.
We want to keep the full list, though, because we need to know:
- Who to forgive
- Who to make amends to