Step Work

Defects – Simple Version

Anxiety

Arguing

Arrogance

Attention-seeking

Avoiding amends

Avoiding intimacy

Bad-temperedness

Beating yourself up

Being different to gain an identity

Believing feelings

Believing you’re special & different

Bitching

Bitterness

Black-and-white thinking

Blame

Boasting

Brusqueness

Bullying

Charm

Choosing chaos

Choosing short-term gain over long-term pain

Coldness

Complaining

Complying just to gain approval

Compulsive busyness

Concealing the truth

Contempt

Controlling

Criticising

Defensiveness

Denial

Despair

Dismissing people

Distortion

Dominating conversations

Duvet-diving

Embellishment

Envy

Exaggeration

Exhibitionism

Expectation

Fantasy

Fire-fighting (only dealing with the urgent)

Fishing for compliments

Fitting in to gain an identity

Fixing

Flattery

Focusing on people who don’t like you

General

Generalisation

Giving people attention only when they ignore you

Giving to get

Gossiping

Graciousness

Greed/gluttony

Guilt

Gullibility

Hatred

Hypersensitivity

Hypocrisy

Ignoring people

Imbalance between different areas of life

Impatience

Impoliteness

Inaction

Inappropriate self-expression

Inconsistency

Indecision

Indifference

Indiscretion

Inflexibility

Ingratiation

Interfering

Intolerance

Irrationality

Isolating

Jealousy

Judging

Lack of discipline

Lack of perspective

Lack of proportion

Lack of self-evaluation

Lying

Making (excessive) demands

Malice

Managing situations

Manipulation

Martyrdom

Mercilessness

Mistrust

Monkey-mind (mental restlessness)

Mothering

Negativity

Neglect

Nostalgia

Not asking for help

Not listening

Not playing enough

Not resting

Not setting boundaries

Not spending enough

Not working enough

Obsessing

Over-ambition

Over-analysing

Over-dependence

Overeating

Overspending

Overworking

Patronisation

Perfectionism

Pessimism

Physical violence

Procrastination

Projection

Provocation

Pulling rank

Punishing

Rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic

Recklessness

Repeating mistakes and expecting different results

Resistance to change

Retaliation

Rigidity

Sarcasm

Saying ‘no’ too often

Saying ‘yes’ too often

Scaring people

Scorn

Secretiveness

Self-centeredness

Self-consciousness

Self-doubt

Self-importance

Selfishness

Self-justification

Self-neglect

Self-obsession

Self-pity

Self-righteousness

Self-satisfaction

Sense of fraudulence

Shame

Shaming people

Showing off

Sloth

Stealing stuff

Stealing other people’s crises and making them your own

Stewing

Sticking your head in the sand

Suspicion

Taking people for granted

Tunnel-vision

Verbal abuse

Withdrawing

Withholding the truth

Withholding yourself

Worry

Zero–sum thinking