Defects of Conduct — Step Work

Arguing
Attention-seeking
Avoiding amends
Avoiding intimacy
Bad-temperedness
Being different to gain an identity
Bitching
Boasting
Brusqueness
Bullying
Charm
Choosing chaos
Choosing short-term gain over long-term pain
Coldness
Complaining
Complying just to gain approval
Compulsive busyness
Concealing the truth
Controlling
Criticising (even when true)
Defensiveness
Dismissing people
Distortion
Dominating conversations
Duvet-diving
Exhibitionism
Fire-fighting (only dealing with the urgent)
Fishing for compliments
Fitting in to gain an identity
Fixing
Flattery
Focusing on people who don’t like you
General
Giving people attention only when they ignore you
Giving to get
Gossiping
Graciousness
Ignoring people
Imbalance between different areas of life
Impatience
Impoliteness
Inaction
Inappropriate self-expression
Inconsistency
Indifference/apathy in dealings with others
Indiscretion
Inflexibility
Ingratiation
Interfering
Isolating
Lack of discipline
Lying
Making (excessive) demands
Malice
Managing situations
Manipulation
Martyrdom
Monkey-mind (mental restlessness)
Mothering
Neglect
Not asking for help
Not listening
Not playing enough
Not resting
Not setting boundaries
Not spending enough
Not working enough
Offering unsolicited advice
Over-dependence
Overeating
Overspending
Overworking
Patronisation
Physical violence
Procrastination
Provocation
Pulling rank
Punishing
Rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic
Recklessness
Repeating mistakes and expecting different results
Retaliation
Sarcasm
Saying ‘no’ too often
Saying ‘yes’ too often
Scaring people
Secretiveness
Self-justification
Self-neglect
Shaming people
Showing off
Sloth
Stealing
Stealing other people’s crises and making them your own
Stewing
Sticking your head in the sand
Taking people for granted
Verbal abuse
With other people:
Withdrawing
Withholding yourself