Made a decision to turn our will and
our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
... God as we understood Him
- This
is not (necessarily) the God of one's childhood or
religion.
- The
premise of this is that God is caring ('over to the care
of God').
- This
means that God has our best interests at heart.
Optional question: other than 'caring',
are there any other qualities you might usefully ascribe to God? Are there any
qualities you might usefully detach from God (e.g. judgement, condemnation)?
... our will ....
Definition (Oxford Online
Dictionary): A deliberate or
fixed desire or intention / the thing that
one desires or ordains.
Put simply: what we want.
[Footnote: 'our will' (versus 'God's
will'), in the programme, really means self-will, i.e. the will
borne of ego. Our 'true will' is buried inside us and is aligned with God's
will. The programme is about trying to move away from self-will and towards
God's will, which is our true will. To make this distinction clear, let's use
the term self-will to describe what we are trying to move away
from.]
... our lives ...
This means the sum total of our
experience.
... turn something over ...
Definition (Oxford Online Dictionary):
transfer control or management of something to someone else.
... turning our will and lives over to
the care of God as we understand Him ...
This means:
- We
disregard self-will.
- We
relinquish the desire to direct the course of our (and others') lives.
- Instead
we ask God what attitudes to adopt, what to think, and what to do and
follow through with constructive action.
- We
trust that our experience will be improved as a result and that our lives
will take care of themselves.
Made a decision ...
This means that we set this as an
objective and, through our actions, move towards it. It will never be achieved
as a permanent state, however.
Why do we do this?
- Following
self-will and attempting to direct the course of our (and others') lives
has produced terrible results; that is why we are in Al-Anon.
- Following
the programme might produce better results ('satisfying'
and 'serene' [PTR {Paths to Recovery}
28]), so it is worth trying.
How do we do this practically?
- Remember
God's permanent presence.
- Pray
(set or ad lib) prayers or just talk to God and listen.
- Meditate
(in whatever fashion suits you).
- Ask
for God's direction.
- Ask
for strength to follow God's direction.
- Do
not ask for specific results (this is playing God).
- Situation
by situation:
- Adopt this position: self-will must be
disregarded, because it does not bring good results.
- Ask: God, what attitude should do I adopt?
What should I think and do?
- Take the required action and let go of (=
stop thinking about) the results.
- Trust: my experience will be improved as a
result.
- This is calling 'letting go and letting God'.
- Watch for 'taking your will back' (= thinking
about selfish ends, planning and plotting, and thinking about results).
- When this is spotted, immediately turn the
situation over again, e.g. by saying to God, 'Over to you. I'm not going
to think about this or interfere unless I am so instructed by you.'
- Stop
obsessing about problems.
- Stop
obsessing about other people's actions, thoughts, feelings, and internal
lives.
- Stop
obsessing about the past and the future.
- Instead:
think about God and His will for you, and come back to the moment and your
own constructive contribution.
- Seek
validation from God, not from others, about yourself and your attitudes,
thinking, and behaviour.
- Write
troublesome situations on slips of paper and 'post' them into a God box;
then refuse to think about them.
- Recall
personal powerlessness to solve your own problems without God's help, or
to solve others' problems at all.
- When
others make decisions you do not like: leave them to the consequences of
their own actions.
- Recognise
that all our paths are different and we do not know what is right for
others.
Benefits
- Relief
from a sense of responsibility for our (and others') lives.
- More
reliable guidance and therefore better results in our lives.
- Independence
from the opinions, needs, and demands of others (PTR 29).
Questions
- Do
I have a concept of a Higher Power?
- Is
it a helpful concept?
- If
not: do I even need a concept?
- Do
I have any reservations about making this decision?
- What will happen if I do not make this decision?