Revisiting the Step Eleven review

Basics

When we retire at night (or in the late afternoon), we constructively review our day.

1. Was I resentful (dwelling on a present or past negative thing)?
2. Was I selfish (unreasonably putting myself ahead of others)?
3. Was I dishonest (unreasonably lying, concealing, distorting, self-deceiving, or scheming)?
4. Was I afraid (dwelling on a speculated or future negative thing)?
5. Do I owe an apology?
6. Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once?
7. Was I kind and loving toward all?
8. What could I have done better?
9. Was I thinking of myself most of the time or was I thinking of what I could do for others, of what I could pack into the stream of life (note this is asking about my thought life, not my activities)?

Format for sending through a Step Eleven review to someone else

If you’ve been asked to send through your review to someone, here’s a good format:

Take each question and copy it into a message. Then answer it.

Use a separate message for each question and answer combination. This way, the recipient can swipe and reply easily.

If the negative issue is minor, add this line:

Corrective Measure(s): [enter the corrective measure(s)]

If multiple issues arise in response to a question (e.g. three fears, four resentments), write one message per answer (i.e. per fear).

If a question elicits multiple answers, e.g. multiple things I could do better, use dashed points:

• Like this
• And this

For major or persistent issues or issues where the attitude, thinking, or situation needs to be unpacked and reframed, write:

The Story (a brief presentation of the facts):

Where I Am Wrong (belief, attitude, action):

Corrective Measure(s) (belief, attitude, action):

If there are multiple points, use dashed points:

• Like this
• And this

Use line spacing to make the material more readable to your reader.

In WhatsApp, use formatting (e.g. emboldening or italics) to help structure and clarify points.

Thoughtful layout and formatting forces the writer to really think about what they’re saying and produces a visually impactful result that benefits the writer as much as the reader.

Example:

1. Was I resentful (dwelling on a present or past negative thing)?

The Story: Agency passed on vague and unsubstantiated criticism of my work from a reviewer.

Where I Am Wrong (belief, attitude, action):

• The agency is merely incompetent, not mean.
• The reviewer is likely sincere not malicious.
• This is unlikely to affect workflow or income.
• The situation is trivial.
• I am touchy.
• I should not have responded straight away.
• I should not have written extensive and elaborate answers.

Corrective Measure(s) (belief, attitude, action):

• Push back against such criticism and ask for concrete material.
• Respond substantively only if such material is provided.
• If criticism is valid, take it on the chin.
• Keep necessary defensive responses brief.
• Do not engage in any extensive back and forth.
• If lessons can be learned to improve my work, implement them.
• Thank people for feedback.
• Lean towards more agreeable and professional agencies.
• Deal with such matters promptly then forget about them.