SPONSOR: Sober Person Offering Newcomers Suggestions On Recovery
What works really well is this:
- Find someone who has what you want
- Ask them for suggestions
- Listen
- If necessary, enquire further
- Thank them
- Implement the suggestions
What works less well is this:
- Reactivity
- Self-justification
- Defensiveness
- Blaming (others, circumstances, the sponsor)
- Over-explanation
- Argument
- Playing off*
- Insolence / rudeness
- Entitlement
- Complaint
- Resistance
- Attack / retaliation
- Skepticism / cynicism
... whether these are expressed overtly or covertly.
Fortunately, almost everyone plays ball. If someone doesn't, try a boundary. If that doesn't work, suggest other people they can try.
* 'Yes, but someone in a meeting / someone on a tape / my previous sponsor / my friend who has X years of sobriety / Famous Speaker / Bill Wilson / Dr Bob / the Big Book / the 12 x 12 / Al-Anon / my therapist / Famous Spiritual Person / The Bible / God / you told me that ...'