- Identify with the prospect whether he is an alcoholic, broadly speaking
- Ask if he wants to quit for good and for all
- If so, ask if he is willing to go to any lengths
- If he says 'yes':
- Give him a rock-solid daily and weekly programme of applying the last three steps, service, and fellowship to daily living
- Get him going on the steps
- Whatever system you establish, ensure that, if he does the work you ask him to do, you are available very promptly to go through it and progress him to the next exercise
- Never leave a sponsee with no step work to do
- Suggest at least an hour or two of step work a day
- Ensure that the combination of the daily/weekly programme (the last three steps) plus this pathway through the first nine steps, together with work, family, and other obligations, means he always knows exactly what he's supposed to be doing, when, where, and how.
Pretty much any sponsee who follows the above will not relapse.
If relapse does happen, examine whether the above was being adhered to, and if not, why not.
The individual is then given the chance to recommit, on a new and more honest basis.
Always start back at Step One to Three (reviewing thoroughly but not in a laboured way any work performed to date, because relapse always suggests a reservation somewhere in these three steps: someone who has made a decision to turn his will and life over to God has decided to do what is right, not what he wants).
Watch out for:
- Other unaddressed addictions
- Resentments
- Ongoing harmful behaviour
- Nasty little secrets
If someone appears to be 'doing everything right', one of the above four is usually the culprit.
Good luck!